For All It's Worth
by psyonicfox
Summary: My first story, a HIE, of a human turned pony looking for a solution to the oil crisis back home, rating M for foul language and possible explicit content
1. training days

In no way am I a legal holder for the rights to MLP, nor do I claim to be a legal holder of said rights, lawyers have been warned

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><p>March 17 2012<p>

It's been six weeks now since it happened, being turned into a cartoon-colored flying horse, and being shipped off to a military base in the middle of nowhere for 'study'. in truth though, there has been less studying me, and debriefing me on 'a mission of world importance', since with me looking like something off a kids show, I'm the only one who can do it. According to the general, the worlds stocks of oil are running out far faster than anticipated, so much so that the powers that be have deemed it necessary to look in to sci-fi for help. this is where I come in: An energy discharge from a trial run of the portal, or stargate as the scientists love to call it, mannaged to hit me out of everyone thus granting me the form of the inhabitants of the only world they have been able to connect with, so in the sake of peace I am to be trained up as a soldier and sent into the world known as equestria as an envoy to the human race, and set up trade agreements for needed resources.

March 20 2012  
>To say the least I am thankful now for having wings, they have gotten me out of getting a buzz-cut, I happen to be getting somewhat attached to my mane, even if it is a nightmare to comb. In spite of my disregard for the greatest in military fashion, I have been paired up with my weapons and my instructor, Heinrich is without a doubt one of the best sharpshooters the BA has to offer, though he is also undeniably German. my weapon is based off of the SCAR-H, modified to use a lover caliber rifle bullet, at the cost of it's full auto capabilitys, and made slighty smaller and more light weight for me to be able to fly with it, and my sidearm is and MP7a1, given that this is a project all nations are contributing to I'm not surprise to see foreign hardware. It'll be around June before I'm finally departing though the gate, I'd be worried but with my training regime I'm too tired to be.<br>5AM: wake up, SSS, breakfast, I don't have boots to Shine so I just Shit and Shower  
>6-9AM: morning PT drills with some of the base personnel<br>9-10AM: morning parade drills, three days and I hate them already; Heinrich says its a new record  
>10AM-1PM: weapons training<br>1-1.30PM: lunch break  
>1.30-2PM: assault course<br>2-5PM: evening PT drills  
>5-6PM: evening Parade drills<br>6-7PM: dinner  
>7-10PM: free time<br>10PM-12AM: night ops  
>12-5AM: retreat to a cloud for sleep<br>I was actually surprised by my ability to walk on clouds, it's saved me from a surprise haircut and a new recruits attempts to threaten me.

April 15 2012  
>I just recently got back from 'alternate environments training', which equates to going to another country to train in a particular environment, the last week I was stationed in Death Valley, and let me tell you, desert heat and fur do not mix well. Due to my new found aversion to the midday sun, we were only able to do the various training exercises at dusk and dawn, whilst many of them were fun (as much fun as you can have with the sergeant screaming in your ears), I'm still unsure what use abseiling is to me when I can fly, I have a few days to rest before we head out to the alps for winter training. what amazes me is that the governments wanted to keep me a secret, how is that possible when my training grounds are tourist hot spots?<p>

May 11 2012  
>I got a promotion recently, I'm now listed on the system as Sgt. Hawke, an acronym for the name Heinrich gave me; Hawk Eyes. I kept telling him it sounded like a guy's name, but he chose to ignore me, either way it stuck. The promotion came straight from my XO, claiming that other world or not 'ranks carry respect'. The team are also training me to be able to adapt to any situation, whilst this has mostly been done with various modifications to my weapons, I have been able to play around with a UAV drone I'll be using on the other side, it utilizes solar panels rather than a rocket booster, and is for recon purposes only, I can't use grenades either due to my hooves, so the horses can rest easy knowing I can't bring any explosives. I also finally remembered to ask General Adams what to do if I'm running low on ammo, "mark the location where you arrive, we'll send any supplies you need there".<p>

May 15 2012  
>for the rest of the month I've been ordered to, get this, 'watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and find any fanbased opinions of the various characters in it, in order to build psychological profiles of Equestria's citizens' I must have told them a thousand times I might not even drop in on that time period, but the order stands. In fairness the only one who really worries me is Princess Celestia: described frequently as a cross between Glenda the good witch and the subtle ministrations of Albus Dumbledore, the more worrying thing is the secondary personality's the fandom has given her; if when I get to Equestria, I'm speaking with either Celestia or Trollestia, I can deal with it, but Mollestia? I will not be fucked over twice in the name of peace.<p>

June 01 2012  
>This is it my last journal written on earth, I was given words of encouragement by the various world leaders, couldn't help but notice the dirty looks some were giving each other, just chows how bad the situations gotten in the past four months, I'm making sure now everything is ready, weapons cleaned and holstered, wearing my Kevlar vest, which I'm not sure I really need it in a world with no guns, my bags are packed; five cans of processed vegetable mush, if there is one thing I'll be glad to see the back of it's the crap they call food; three clips for the SCAR-p as we've taken to calling my rifle, five clips for my MP7, two first aid kits, tent and sleeping bag. tomorrow is a big day for me, It is after all, the last day I'll see my home until the job is done.<p>

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><p>I have once again gone over this chapter, adding in two more entry's<br>not really much considered, but the time skips are smaller

please review folks it's your only chance to flame me


	2. Enter Equestria

I walked nervously down the hall, flanked by my team; General Adams on my right, lacking his trademark cigar, muttering about, 'damn ponies being unproffesional', occasionaly glareing at me for my decision to bring a pair of shades with me. The 'new guy' Taylor on my left, my Liason for any standing orders once I passed through, the red head looked nervous, not realy surpriseing given the likely hood that something could go wrong; this would be the the first time the portal was actually used. Heinrich bringing up the rear, I didn't even have to look at him to know how he felt, he wasn't happy his protoge would be leaveing for a place we knew nothing about outside of a kid's show, to be fair, I might not even end up in **THAT** time period at all.

we entered the room to see the technitians hopping between stations like fleas, the had scientist aproaching the general and saluting, "aproximatly one minute untill the portal is ready, Sir", Adams gave a grunt of acnolagement, "Private Taylor, if you'd be so kind, I'll take you to your station", the general me "Sergent, the fate of the world now rests on you, don't screw it up by being childish" he too left for the observation room, leaving me and Heinrich at the edge of the room, "Gut luck, mein freund" he sighed, "I managed to get ahold of some specialist gear for you, Should be useful if the need arises" he put the box he was carrying into my pack, I was about to thank him when the tanoi system came on anouncing a successful connection to equestria had been made, and a techie began explaining the launch sequence for the Solaris drone, another strapping the damn thing to my back, "you'd best go child" Heinrich said from the doorway, "the world won't be happy if it's chance of slavation was stalling. With that I was practicly hurled into the unknown by an impatient scientist.

Let me tell you, ain't got nothing on experiencing the rift between worlds. It's like a giant tunnel to where you want to go, with windows into other realities, it made for an interesting in flight movie. I saw the creation of a star, to the end of a world, with landscapes such as the frozen tundra of Skyrim, to the Bowels of Moria, Undersea cities to islands in the sky, nothing can prepare you for what you see. It was all smooth sailing until I got hit round the head by a flying blue box.

Wherever I woke up, it was cold, dark, and somewhat wet; my mind, still sluggish from the hit, began the process of elimination to determine this was most likely a cave. My vision rebooted next, and it showed that I was indeed in a cave. Next on the list was movement, groggily getting to my hooves and fumbling around in the dark for an exit. I decided (after walking into a stalagmite... stalactite... whatever the bloody things are called) to employ Gandalf's guide to exploring caves and follow my nose, and lo and behold the right hand passage did smell less stale, giving me all the motivation I needed to amble up the slope.

I suppose I should mention how the cave actual panned out, from the crescent shaped amp-theater I woke up in, there were two passageways, both sloping upwards, the right hand one, which I followed, opened into another chamber, this one with a further three passages and a small lake at its center looking around the floor, I'd finally adapted to the lack of light, I found a small chalk stone, and marked a crude union jack over the tunnel I had just left. The decision on which path to take out of the chamber was made for me however, by the small glow of sunlight form the center arch Once I arrived in the outside world, I had to wait a moment for my eyes to adjust to the new light levels, I took this moment to unstrap Solaris from my back, and ready the damn thing for launch.

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><p>Scene break<p>

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><p><em><strong>Optimum working altitude reached.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**/Beginning preliminary ground mapping.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**/preliminary map working complete.**_

_**/Beginning settlement survey.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**/Settlement survey complete: nearest detectable settlement 1.5km North of current position**_

_**Follow user: Sgt. Hawke**_

_**/Command accepted: follow user: Sgt. Hawke**_

_**Bookmark current position**_

_**/Command accepted: Bookmark current position**_

I placed the control pad for Solaris in a pouch on my vest, the drone would keep me notified if something major happened. My newest priority was to get to that settlement and speak to its leader, if I was lucky it would be the capitol (Canterlot, the show called it), if not find a map and make my way to said capitol. I was interrupted by my stomach grumbling. New priority, I decided, have lunch; consisting of various dried fruits and nuts, granted my meal was healthy, but I always miss my days as a human snacking on crisps and chocolate, not that I was fat or anything, I was active, even before being forced into the military by unforeseen circumstances.

I'd give you the details of my trek to the settlement, but considering the scenery consisted of nothing but trees, it was remarkably uneventful.

The sun was at its highest by the time I arrived in Canterlot, and yes I was by now aware of where I was (hard not to be with the huge _Welcome To Canterlot _sign just outside), I was making my way through town to the palace, trying to ignore the looks my gear was attracting from the pedestrians, it was here however, I realized I don't know where the blazes the castle is.

I ducked into an alleyway behind a cafe, not sure what they were serving but damn it smelt good, however this was no time to sampling local cuisine, it was time to see it Solaris was worth it's weight. I grabbed the control pad from it pouch and flipped it over to the map viewer, and began picking over the city looking for my target, trouble is with Canterlot is all these weird towers all across the bloody place, makes finding a- "oh, there it is" I muttered to myself, internal rant aside, it was time to get there before I wasted anymore daylight, the last thing I wanted to do was have to break into the palace and cause an inter-dimensional dispute.

Fortunately I got to the palace with plenty of time to spare, however I doubted that the guard on sentry duty (how I pity him for that hated task) would let just anyone in; I was going to hate myself for this, but it's time to try the 'foreign' diplomat routine. "Excuse me sir" I called to the guard, putting on my best(worst) German accent, "I come from land across..." what was that forest called again? "Everfree. Would be allowed to see leader for diplomat talks, yes?" no answer "... I just go in then?" I slipped in without another word, what was that guy? A statue? I looked back from down the corridor, bastard still hadn't moved.

The thought of wandering aimlessly looking for a pony with a crown didn't exactly appeal much to me, thus I found myself once again using the FDR, this time on a unicorn in a maid's outfit "Excuse me" once again using a horribly fake accent "I come from across Everfree, I am diplomat from homeland, may you lead to leader for talks?", she replied in her own pseudo-french accent "Certainly, Madame, please follow me"

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><p>this should hopefully improve my word count a little, I merged chapters 2 and 3 and am going to see if I can add some extra dates in on chapter 1,<br>some of those scene breaks are far too long


	3. An exercise in trust

"hello" regular speaking  
>(hello) Character thoughts<br>_"hello" Royalty speaking  
><em>Equestria locations  
><strong>"hello" <strong>Solaris/ Com-link  
><strong><em>"HELLO" <em>**Royal Canterlot Voice

I am under no illusions that I own My Little Pony, would I be writing this fanfic if I did?

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><p><span>Earth; Undisclosed location<span>  
>Private Taylor sat at the desk, a cup of now cold coffee stationed in front of him, trying to comprehend what He'd just heard, he wasn't the only one confused, as the previous transmission from Equestria had been played on loud speaker, at the sergeant's request;<br>"I'm sorry Ma'am, I don't think I heard that right, could you repeat that?"

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><p><span>Equestria; Canterlot castle, Five minutes earlier<span>  
>The maid had returned at last, accompanied by a fiery gold stallion, "madame" she called, "the Princess is ready to see you now, Captain Dawn Fire will escort you to her". Dawn Fire lead me through an ornate set of doors into the throne room, both of them marked with the shape of a winged unicorn, I tried in vain to remember what they were called; Pegacorns, maybe? A short red carpet lead the way to the throne, a guard standing to attention every few feet, another pair of guards could be seen flanking the throne it's self; and on the throne smiling down amiably to us was the princess herself.<p>

Dawn Fire bowed as he approached the dais the throne was stood upon, and I followed suit, though somewhat clumsily (bowing wasn't something I had much practice with as a pony),  
>"presenting the foreign diplomat, your majesty", the princess looked down at me, somewhat akin to how a parent looks at their child,<br>_"what is your name, my little pony?"_ she asked; I replied  
>"Am Sergeant Hawke Eye, your highness" a Germanic inflection rolling off of every word,<br>_"you are a soldier?",_ more a statement than a question  
>"wouldn't have gotten through Everfree if wasn't" I countered, you know what they say about stupid questions. The interrogation was starting to grate on my nerves a bit, I began to think of ways I could steer the conversation to a topic not concerning myself<br>_"why are you here, Sergeant?"_, not what i was hoping for but I could work with it,  
>"Am under orders that this go to your ears only, could send guards away?", said guards tensed up at me saying this, "could take weapons with, doubt I need outside forest"<br>_"very well," _she spoke after a minute of consideration, _"guards you may leave for the time being"._

Within thirty seconds I was alone with the princess, and the Royal Canterlot Guard had stripped me of everything but my vest, a torch, the controller for Solaris, my Com-Link, and a half eaten bag of dried fruits. Once the doors had shut behind the last guard, I dropped all illusions and cut right to the chase,  
>"You'll have to forgive me for the deception, your majesty," I said, finally being able to speak normally, "while I am indeed from another country, it is not across Everfree forest, that couldn't be further from the truth." I paused to give her time to take this in,<br>"I actually come from another dimension, on our planet, Earth; where the dominant species are humans," her eyes narrowed at this, "you've seen humans before I take it?" I asked somewhat nervously,  
><em>"One our most famous unicorn magicians came from earth, Star Swirl did not paint a very good light of his former race, I believe your humans know him as Merlin"<em>, that threw me for a loop, a man of myth turned out not only to be real, but he left his home behind,  
>"I too used to be a human, Prin-"<br>_"Then give me one good reason why I shouldn't banish you to the moon!"_, the motherly tone now gone from her voice, she was starting to scare me,  
>"All we're looking for is a trade agreement: our people need oil, and are looking to trade anything we have in excess for that your people need for it" I spoke quite rapidly in my panic, "I can guarantee that no human will set foot on Equestria, or you may kill me where I stand", I finished gasping for breath, as the princess stared down from her throne at me, as though gazing into my soul.<p>

The princess spoke after a minute of deliberation,  
><em>"I am going to propose an exercise<em>_ in trust", _What, was she going to fall back and have me catch her?, _"there is a politician by name of White Stripes, who has become a thorn in my side for some time now; I want you to deal with him, then I will consider your trade_ deal", there was something I wasn't hearing right there; Princess Celestia, the most benevolent being in the universe, asking me to kill someone?  
>"uh... okay, I'll go grab my gear and see about tracking him down"<br>_"I_ _want this done cleanly", _she called as I reached the door _"you will wait in the castle until nightfall and I will have a servant prepare an map to his home, what you do is up to you"_

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><p><em>Scene break<em>

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><p>Night couldn't have come quick enough, I was eager to prove my, and by comparison humanities, worth to the princess; thus I flew down the road armed with a silenced SMG and a crudely drawn map. White Stripes lived fairly close to the palace (fairly being a five minute flight, sans time take to avoid any prying eyes, it is supposed to be a clean job after all), meaning I arrived at the front of his mansion,<br>"well ain't you a rich ass mother" I muttered, looking for a quick way in, while thinking back to Mr. Stripes' dossier:

_Name: White Stripes  
>Age: 27<br>__Occupation: Politician  
>Criminal Record: Though he has managed to walk free on all counts, White Stripes has known ties to several drug smuggling rings throughout Canterlot<em> (every Eden has its apple, I thought as I read this) and Manehattan._ We believe that crime bosses are paying off the jury at his hearings, in exchange for bail to be paid to their workers  
>Known Affiliate's: Big Cheese, head of the Manehattan Mafia <em>(some of these ponies have the dumbest names); Smoke Ring, possible head of Canterlot distribution ring

What I couldn't understand is why Celestia wasn't sending me after Big Cheese, cut the head off the snake and all that, but given that this was earths only shot, I couldn't afford to fuck up. A good few minutes of searching later, briefly interrupted by a passing group of school fillies (or should that be school girls, dammit, I'm going off topic), I found a way in, window second from the left, top floor looked like a study; unless this guy was willing to break cliche, that was where he was going to be.

I flew up to the window as silently as I could, and sure enough the target was there, desk facing away from the window, how easy it would be just to pop a round in his skull, but part of me wanted to try something else; this was after all a land where violence didn't exist, why would Celestia want me to kill someone? the voice reasoned. I ducked into the window carefully, didn't want to make a sound just yet, and prepared myself for something no professional assassin would ever consider: face time with the target.

I was fortunate that the princess had given me a faded black hooded cloak, I could just scare him on to the right track, take inspiration from a horror movie, go Kruger on his corrupt ass, no one need know that I myself was here, but a fictitious alter ego? Only the princess herself would know it was me.  
>"hello White Stripes" I said mimicking the rasping voice of jigsaw, "I wanna play a game"<p>

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><p>Scene Break<p>

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><p>I smirked under my hood, the beaten body of Stripes laying face up at me, allowing me to see the fear in his eyes,<br>"now listen carefully pal," still mimicking jigsaw to the best of my ability, I'm surprised at how little I've talked in my own voice today, "I'll giving you a chance here, clean up your act, or face retribution" he was about to reply when he was interrupted by a voice from the door,  
>"Daddy can you and your friend keep it down, I'm having trouble sleeping", he looked at me then back to his daughter,<br>"I'll be through in a second sweetness" he called to her as the filly left the room.  
>"I'd hate to make the girl an orphan ya know" I said to him as I climbed onto the windowsill, "change your ways, or I'll be back" I jumped out and began to glide back in the general direction of the palace, leaving the stunned stallion to his child.<p>

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><p>and here is chapter three, as an added challenge for you try to spot the (obvious) references I used,<br>second level of said challenge is to spot any plot holes

Rate and review so I can improve what I write


	4. Later that night

"hello" regular speaking  
>(hello) Character thoughts<br>_"hello" Royalty speaking  
><em>Equestria locations  
><strong>"hello" <strong>Solaris/ Com-link  
><strong><em>"HELLO" <em>**Royal Canterlot Voice

I do not own my little pony, that right is Hasbro's

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><p>After another quick under the radar flight, I was back in my room in the guest wing of the palace. The princess it seems, wasn't one for the nightlife (this is the work of Trollestia no doubt) and considering the fact I was doped up on caffeine to get me through the job; I was in for a long night.<p>

12:08AM  
>"96... 97... 98... 99... 100!" I paused from my push ups to give myself a breather, I'd been doing these excersises for about an hour now, not tired in the least, damned caffeine.<br>"ugh, does time go slower here or something?" I asked myself, it's one of life's great mysteries I suppose, is time constant or does it fluctuate to go slower when you wait and faster when you'r doing something you enjoy? we may never know.

2:30AM  
>"soooo... bored... dammit" I groaned for the hundreth time in the last five minutes, I had tried an hour ago to see if my PDA (also know as Solaris' input console) could play MP3s, unfortunately for me that answer was no. Sighing to myself, I had no other alternative after all, It was time to review the castle library, know thy enemy and all that shit, well the ponies aren't my enemies but you get the idea.<p>

Having stopped in the palace kitchens to grab another cup of liquid energy (I was a little unsure as to whether or not this one was coffee with sugar or sugar with coffee) I trekked off down the embellished hallways in search of the book room, bumping into a guards pony who looked more sleep deprived than I was; probably a new guy been given the graveyard shift. The zombifyed stallion doddered off in the direction of the kitchens; Going for his bi-hourly caffeen fix, or maybe a piss break, nah bathroom was in the other direction.

Finally I had done it, I had succeeded in breaking into the tomb of- wait, wrong story. After a rather short walk I found myself in the castle library, every type of book was stacked neatly in a corresponding shelf; at least I think it was, I couldn't actually read Equestrian. The writing was somewhat familiar however, a sort of bastard child of Latin and Gaelic, with a few odd Kanji thrown in for good measure.

"well there goes that idea" I muttered, mentally face palming at my own stupidity; Translating the texts would require more knowledge on dead languages, and my Japanese was piss poor, to say the least. Where was Twilight Sparkle when you needed her? Then again she may not even be born yet, 'that would suck' my drug addled mind told me, indeed it would; my time here would be far less interesting to say the least.

By this point I'd half considered pleading General Adams to get in contact with either Lauren Faust or Hasbro to give this universe some more back story, but given this was an entire separate universe that probably wouldn't work. I checked my watch, sighing again (I was doing that far too much), better head back to my room for another four hours of exercises and philosophical self debate.

5:15AM  
>The sun would be rising soon, right? I sure hope so, my lack of sleep and caffeine crash was causing the greenish yellow Pegasus to pull faces at me; I was fully aware the damn thing was my reflection in the mirror, but the bitch had a mind of her own.<p>

I growled as she flipped me the bird (how do you give a one fingered salute when you have hooves, I'll never know) fully intending to destroy the portal in which the demon was residing, when finally the first rays or sunshine peeked their way in through the window, meaning the princess was awake at last. I began my morning routine pushing my waking nightmare (see what I did there?) behind me to never be brought up again, could have sworn I heard my pillow case laughing at me though.

7:30AM  
>"Good morning Sergeant," Celestia greeted me as I trotted into the throne room, "did you sleep well last night?" (Damn you Trollestia!)<br>"yes your highness, and please call me Hawke," I heard a mutter of 'sounds like a Stallions name' from one of the guards, and ignored it (gotta be professional after all). Pleasantries aside the princess requested I inform her of how her little problem was dealt with, once the guards had been excused of course.  
>"I scared the Shit out of him to be frank," regaling the tale of the politician's beat down, "trust me, he'll change his ways, he doesn't want a return visit"<br>"how can you be so sure?" she asked doubt evident on her face,  
>"I'll tell you what I told Mr. Stripes, I'm not here to make orphans, your majesty"<br>"and what if he doesen't change" she asked, the million pound question,  
>"then I'll have no other alternative than to kill the bastard" her face contorts slightly at my swearing but nothing more.<p>

It was a good five minutes we sat there looking at each other, the silence slowly becoming more and more awkward, though the princess herself seemed more than content to watch me squirm under her scrutiny. I had a somewhat humerus thought of a miniature version of me running though my skull screaming 'we fucked' over and over again, I didn't laugh though; I couldn't, for all I knew that would be all she needed to say no to the deal.

"I will agree to your deal," she said after much deliberation, "but," oh here it comes, "no human may enter Equestria" This was met with much screaming over the Com-link, with F-bombs every few seconds courtesy of the General,  
>"this will make things harder overall, your highness, unless you will allow us to hire Equestrians to work the derricks" I countered nursing my injured ear, I was gonna need an aspirin for the headache those morons gave me,<br>"that is fine", she reply's, "and you are welcome to stay in Equestria as an overseer to any trades between our worlds" she says with a smile (she knows something I dont, I'm sure of it)  
>"so when do we start?" I asked unsurely,<br>"as soon as we find oil in my kingdom", yep, its Trollestia for sure.

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><p>Scene Break<p>

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><p>With the deal sorted I trudged back to my room, prepared to sleep until later in the day; tiredness was catching up fast, I had already caught myself stumbling more than a few times. I fumbled my way into the room and crashed down on the bed, had just closed my eyes and- KNOCK KNOCK- (damn it Trollestia), a muttered curse of damnation and I was back on my hooves heading to the door, opening it to see Dawn Fire on the receiving end of a deathly glare,<br>"Miss Hawke, the princess has requested I inform you that if you so desire a course in Equestrian customs and language will be made available to you," if looks could kill he would be dead, he seemed however unaffected by it, "also, as you have military training, would you be interested in taking some new recruits through physical?" I laughed insanely,  
>"sure, I'll take the fresh meat for you", I shut the door behind him as he trotted of, while I went back to bed thinking of ways to maim some new guys.<p>

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><p>I might have to delay the next chapter a bit,<br>got a crap ton of homework I ignored through Easter that needs to be swept under the carpet somehow

so until then rate and review so there will be fewer plot holes  
>(only after reading an M rated fanfic do I realize how dirty that might sound to older MLP fans)<p> 


	5. When in Canterlot

"hello" regular speaking  
>(hello) Character thoughts<br>_"hello" Royalty speaking  
><em>Equestria locations  
><strong>"hello" <strong>Solaris/ Com-link  
><strong><em>"HELLO" <em>**Royal Canterlot Voice

I own nothing but these words

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><p>"Alright maggots, listen up" I shouted to the trainee guards; it had been a few days since my arrival in Equestria, I had started to get the basics of the twice damned language they use and felt comfortable enough to drop the FDR (patent pending), though I still spoke with a German accent, you don't just drop an accent in three days after all. I was currently leading the training session that Dawn Fire requested I take, the grunts having just finished a ten mile hike, though a pretty nasty storm, just under half of the fifty recruits dropped out from sheer exhaustion, not counting the five excused to treat their lightning burns,<p>

"now that you have finished the warm up", a collective groan of disbelief sang out from the sorry mass of bodies in front of me, "stand at attention privates!" they quickly stood straight, heads held high, "as I was saying: now that you have finished the warm up, I'm going to give you a choice, you can fight a pissed off grizzle bear, and I know he pissed off, I aggravated him myself; or we can play a game of hide and seek in which you all hide where ever you want, with out leaving Canterlot, and I hunt down and mercilessly beat you" I said finishing with a smile.

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><p>60 seconds later<p>

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><p>"59... 60, okay guys when I find you, Imma kill ya!" I shouted to the empty courtyard, well Dawn Fire was there, but he didn't really count,<br>"Were you telling the truth about the bear miss Hawke?" he asked as he approached, "and please be joking when you say your going to kill them"  
>"yeah, don't worry your guys are safe, they might end up in a full body cast, but they're safe, oh and the bear... I sure he's gonna be even angrier that I woke him up for nothing, hmmm, might chuck the winner of this 'game' in there with him" I muttered noticing Dawn growing considerably paler, "fine, I wont; now I've got some maggots to put through hazing, heh heh heh"<p>

My secret weapon in this endeavor? Solaris, of course. Just give 'em long enough to feel safe then crush their hopes right in front of them, I'm harsh like that. I wasn't going to use it straight away though, but if no one hid in the castle then it was free game... meh, fuck it; I slipped the PDA console out of its sleeve on my vest, looking though the surveillance camera footage for where my wayward victims are, a majority of them headed to their homes, but a samll group felt there was safety in numbers; not only that but had stole into a gentleman- er... colt... nah, I'll stick with the human nouns for now- gentleman's club in order to reassure their masculinity after being bitch whipped for so long, the fact that I would be denied entry was probably a bonus to them. I'd have to remedy their stupidity.

The ones who hid at their houses got off lightly; black eyes, missing teeth and dislocated joints would be common sight in the hospital today, not as if the doctors mind, it's what pays them; the five who hid in the XXX club i was now arguing with the manager of,  
>"I don't give a shit about the fact I'm a mare, or that your club does not cater to mares" I shouted at him whilst looking down on him; yeah, despite the fact I'm a mare, I'm taller than him, not just him, but most ponies I've met the past few days I can look down on, besides Celestia, but she's an ancient alicorn ruler so it's fair I suppose (given a comparison with an average human, I stand about chest level with them, whilst most ponies would be looking ta either the waist or stomach, the princess would be able to look you square in the eyes though), moving on; the poor guy also visibly flinched with every swear word he was about to reply when I interrupted him'<br>"consider your next words carefully, pal" he pales slightly, only a little violence and it's like you've handed these ponies a dead cat, "If you try to stop me your putting yourself in place of those five, who I intend to seriously injure, it's part of their training, now if you put yourself in their place you will recieve five times worse than what they will, comprende?" he quickly bows out, not wanting to be in the way of my ire.

the group of five consisted of a pegasus, two unicorns, and two earth ponies, who had split from the other three to get a round of drinks. The pegasus (didn't get any of their names) noticed me, not surprising given I'm the only female in the building not on stage, and notified the unicorns who promptly teleported away with him leaving the earth ponies to their fate.

* * *

><p><span>Back alley<span>  
>I threw the two dumbasses through the establishment's back door into the alleyway, it wasn't much to look at, just a small court used to keep a bin off of the street, said bin was being cleaned out at the moment giving me a fair sized arena in which to work, I turned round to the red pony,<br>"I'm gonna deal with Blue first," I said pointing to the blue stallion behind me, "If your not there when I'm done, I'll hunt you down and beat you ten times worse, got it?" By this time blue had gotten to his hooves.

"alright bitch, round one!" I shouted swinging my right hoof for his face; he countered, slower than I had expected, leaving an opening on his left. I swung for it, once again the trainee grabbing my hoof mid swing,  
>"really?" I said after head butting him, knocking him down with the blow, "that's pathetic, get up and lets try that again"<br>I waited for him to make the first move this time, he came from the left, leaning too far into the punch; allowing me to throw him off balance and hit him with a roundhouse kick (how does a pony roundhouse? lean onto your back legs, like a human, and swing your legs, simples) he stumbled a bit but stayed on his hooves, he's getting better I thought.

The third try saw me make a deliberate mistake (the kind an instructor makes to give you a hint), and Blue managing to get me into an arm bar, it seems no one told him the physics behind such an endeavor, I just leaned forward and he practically slid off my arm, hooves don't have the best grip, even with the telekinetic 'fingers' we seem to have, I decked him in the face again and he slid into dreamland,  
>"come on Red," I laughed, "time for round two"<p>

* * *

><p>With red and blue both unconscious and delivered to the nearby hospital I was now face with the somewhat daunting challenge of tracking down the remaining three recruits, and to wonder why the new guards are so pathetic, wait scratch that last one, it's their first day (I should have been a bit easier on them), now then: according to Solaris the final three were hiding out in the park, they'd likely teleport as soon as they saw me, so I was going to need help with this, could always ask Dawn Fire to go get them.<p>

Taking to the air I quickly arrived back at the castle, the park was fortunately in a different area of the city, and sought out the captain,  
>"So, miss Hawke, how can I help" he asked as I approached<br>"can you go and retrieve the three recruits from the park, I'm tiered of chasing them around the city to tell them they win, every time I get close they just teleport away", he looks at me suspiciously for a second  
>"your not putting them in with the bear are you?"<br>"no I'm going to have sex with them" I reply keeping a straight face, I wish I had a mirror so he could see his face,  
>"yes of course I'm throwing them in with the bear, they've pissed me off with the poofing away shit"<p>

* * *

><p>"now then you three" I said to the three stooges, "as the winner of this exercise you will each get a medal, even though this was not an official event, so you can brag to the others that you will be the only ones to ever receive the award", the pegasus, whom I nicknamed Greymane, spoke up,<br>"where are the medals Ma'am?" I grinned  
>"I was never one for ceremony so if you want your medal you will have to enter the room behind me" I said pointing to the doorway behind me, they each gave a whoop of joy and charged through the door way, which I slammed shut after them,<br>"A little side lesson for you boys, never let your guard down; Travis happens to be extremely pissed after being woke up twice in one day, so I can't leave you in there for too long, hope your still alive in five minutes" I laughed as they whimpered, " OH, yeah, but the way, no magic can be used in that room and those medals," I paused for effect, "they're chocolate" I took a step back to listen to their screaming, ahh music

* * *

><p>Okay chapter five<br>this was originality going to be a filler chapter whilst I catch up on homework but,  
>I couldn't be bothered with doing maths and this turned out longer than I thought it would<p>

rate and review folks or this will slowly become worse  
>I need to know where I can improve<p>

as a side note I should soon get off my ass and start season one


	6. Friendship Is Magic Pt 1

"hello" regular speaking  
>(hello) Character inner thoughts<br>_"hello" Royalty speaking  
><em>Equestria locations  
><strong>"hello" <strong>Solaris/ Com-link  
><strong><em>"HELLO" <em>**Royal Canterlot Voice

As I am not part of Hasbro I have no claim to the franchise

* * *

><p>Guard duty, oh boy this is just going to be fun (even if I am guarding the princess' star pupil Twilight Sparkle), though I can't say I didn't deserve it, I did piss off Celestia with my stunt with the trainees, I think they may have heard me over in Stalliongrad when she was shouting at me:<p>

"_**DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'RE IN?**_" an angry parent has nothing on how shit-yourself-scary the princess is when she's angry; I'm not exactly a pokemon fanatic but damn it she looks like a bloody rapidash when she's pissed,  
>"<em><strong>FORTY FIVE ROOKIES BEING TREATED FOR MINOR INJURYS, ANOTHER FIVE IN INTENSIVE CARE, THREE OF WHOM NEED PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING THANKS TO YOUR STUNT<strong>_" mind you, I wasn't alone; Dawn Fire was there with me since he pretty much authorized my hair brained scheme,  
>"Captain, given you had no idea what the sergeant was planning I'm going to let you off lightly," she said to my co-conspirator, "you will be guarding the dungeons for a month" back at the time I thought to my self 'she calls prison duty getting off light? what torture is she gonna put me though'<p>

The torture I get is a nauseating ride to ponyville alongside the element of magic (well she don't know it yet at least) to plan the upcoming summer sun celebration, the cartoon was right about Twilight though, she wasn't exactly the most talkative of ponies. When we were first introduced by the princess she was initially interested in my weapons, up until the point where I told her what they were for, I suppose though in a non violent world like this, killing would put most people off.

The in flight entertainment sucked ass to say the least, mainly 'cause there wasn't any, so I contented myself with looking through the box Heinrich gave me in more detail, having only opened it to grab the silencer I knew he had put in there (did I mention before he became a hit man after leaving the army? probably should have), there were mods for every occasion, surveillance, sniping, weapon maintenance or a general firefight. Given what I knew about the coming day I took an under rail torch from the lower recesses of the box, and for good measure a thermal scope, variable of course, just like all the other scopes I had.

Weapons modded and everything packed away I drifted back into the conversation between Twilight and Spike  
>"-Celebration in this year's location: Ponyville. And I have an even more essential task to complete: make some friends!" the dragon narrated from the parchment he held getting a sigh from Twilight for his troubles.<p>

"So, uh, Twilight, where to first for the preparations?" I asked as we disembarked the chariot,  
>"Item number one" she said holding her checklist in front of her with her magic, "Banquet preparations: Sweet Apple Acres; Item two, weather: we need to see a pegasus named Rainbow Dash; Item three: Decorations: a unicorn named Rairity is taking care of this, and finally music: provided by a pegasus called Fluttershy"<br>"And what about making friends?" Spike interjected,  
>"Princess Celestia said to check on preparations. I am her student, and I'll do my royal duty, but the fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends" (if she only knew what I knew), Twilight said angrily.<br>"Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about. Come on, Twilight, just try!" Spike countered, pointing to a pink pony I found somewhat familiar, WAIT! Pink? oh boy this was gonna be good.

Twilight sighed as she walked up the (to her) strange pony,  
>"Um... hello?" she said nervously, (wait for it, wait for it)<br>The pony, who I had Identified as Pinkie Pie gave a long overly dramatic gasp and sped off faster than I could follow down the street,  
>"well that was Interesting," I thought out loud.<p>

One of the things I noticed about Ponyville was that the locals are much friendlier than those in Canterlot; My appearance, for example, would draw curious glances and a snort of dismissal from residents, here however, while I may draw attention to myself somewhat (these ponies have a strange fascination with anything new), the ponies here offer a warm welcome rather than the cold shoulder. I was brought out of my musing by a Texan accent shouting "Yeehaw!" followed by a thump.

Looking up from the I saw my charges looking into the field on our right towards an orange pony in a, what are those cowboy hats called again...- ah, Stetson hat, thinking back to my research back on earth I recalled this mare was the element of honesty, Applejack (though now I'm rambling again, back to the story).

I got my mind back on track just as Applejack (I'm gonna refer to her a AJ from now on, it's much easier) chimed a triangle with a shout of,  
>"Soups on everypony!", I swear it's gonna take me ages to slip into local dialect properly,<br>with everyone around a table I had never noticed before AJ began to introduce her family,  
>This here's Apple Fritter. Apple Bumpkin. Red Gala. Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apples, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp..." (two of those sound weird even by pony standards, I mean what kind of name is Baked?) she took a deep breath, " Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith. Up'n'attem, Granny Smith, we got guests." As the emaciated old mare mumbled through sleep induced delirium, while I vaguely noted a horsefly land in the middle of the table, I felt sorry for whoever that little bastard decided to bite.<p>

Twilight was laughing nervously, the bookworm not used to such large gatherings,  
>"Okay, well, I can see the food situation is handled, so we'll be on our way."<br>Twilight tried to decline AJ's offer to stay for brunch, something even I would have done in her shoes, but the dissapointed sighs from the apple family made her reconsider; Seeing as we would be staying a little longer I helped myself to a few apple fritters and tried to make conversation with Big Macintosh,  
>"Nice to have someone you can see eye to eye with, huh?" (referring to the fact we both are much taller than average)<br>"Eeyup,"  
>"Man of few words are you?"<br>"Eeyup,"  
>"Fair enough,"<br>"Eeyup"  
>like I said, tried.<p>

"Food job take care of, now onto the weather" Called back to me and Twilight, Twilight herself looked a little green around the gills  
>"Ugh... I ate too much pie..." she muttered, I looked up to the cloudy sky above us, my momentary distraction allowing the horsefly from earlier to catch up with me,<br>"doesn't look like Rainbow Dash is- MOTHER FUCKER!" I screamed as the miniature marauder bit into my backside, I grabbed my sidearm from it's holster and fired a single 9mm bullet after the airborne menace, "bite my ass, and I'll bust a cap in yours" I mumbled angrily, it was at that moment Twilight stunned by my either my swearing or the gunshot, was knocked into a dirty puddle by a rainbow of all things (A new challenger appears).

"Eh he he he, Uh, 'scuse me?, he he he," Ah this must be the fastest flyer in all Equestria herself,  
>"lemme help you" she said to the muddy unicorn, rushing off, then quickly reappearing with a cloud in hoof, which she hit to cause a downpour (note to self), Twilight was now soaked, her mane and tail hanging limply off her, Rainbow continued to laugh nervously,<br>"Oops, I guess I overdid it. Um, uh, how about this? My very own patented Rain-Blow Dry!" (talk about an ego, sheesh) the cyan pegasus lived up to her name and she zoomed around twilight creating a small vortex, "No no, don't thank me, you're quite welcome." at this point the three of us; me, Rainbow and Spike, all burst out laughing as we see Twilight's new hairdo.

"Dammit, ha ha, I can't breath" I managed to gasp out, Twilight shot me a death glare before turning her attention to the source of her predicament,  
>"Let me guess. You're Rainbow Dash." she stated venomously, I took this moment to start up conversation with spike (yeah, I'm sure by now your thinking why not befriend the mane six? truth is I'd rather remain in the background. I admit I love adventure as much as the next solider but if I'm out fighting dragons everyday I can't be overseeing the extraction of any oil we do actually find)<br>"how much you wanna bet they're friends by the end of the week?", I whispered to the baby dragon,  
>"I dunno" he replies, "Twilight really prioritizes study over everything else, it's far more likely they won't"<br>"fair enough, winner gets an I.O.U since at the moment I don't have anything valuable to give" we shake and conclude just as Rainbow starts flying.

"Loop the loop around, and wham! What'd I say? Ten. Seconds. Flat. I'd never leave Ponyville hanging" Rainbow boasted, laughing to herself, "You should see the look on your face. Ha! You're a laugh, Twilight Sparkle. I can't wait to hang out some more" she shouted back, flying off to god knows where. Spike and I hear an angry growl from our right and turn to face a livid Twilight,  
>"Wait! It's kinda pretty once you get used to it!" Spike shouts as he rushed down the road after Twilight, I take to the air and glide lazily behind them on an air current to the town hall, or whatever that weird circular building is.<p>

"Decorations. Beautiful..." spike gasped from inside, I trotted into the premises as Twilight started talking,  
>"Yes, the decor is coming along nicely. This ought to be quick. I'll be at the library in no time. Beautiful indeed." I myself looked over to Spike, you could actually see the hearts in his eyes, meaning that If i was not mistaken, I was likely to be accosted by a furious fashioneista; time to retreat I think, fortunately no one noticed me enter in the first was exactly ten minutes before Twilight burst out of the building followed by a love struck little dragon, I timed it on my watch,<br>"Wasn't she wonderful?" he sighed (ahhh, young love),  
>"So where to next?" I asked pulling up behind them, Twilight shot me a dirty look as if to say 'where in fuck's name were you?", Spike pointed to the woods ahead of us,<br>"Last one" Twilight sighed.

We entered the clearing guided by a birdsong fanfare, up ahead was a yellow pegasus, given we'd seen everyone else, this must be Fluttershy; who was orchestrating an entire tree full or birds,  
>"Oh my. Um, stop please, everyone. Excuse me, sir? I mean, no offense, but your rhythm is just a teeny-tiny bit off. Now, follow me, please. A-one, a-two, a-one two three-", Twilight in her impatience to get back to the library interpreted,<br>"Hello!" she shouted, startling both Fluttershy and the birds, "Oh my, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten your birds. I'm just here to check up on the music and it sounded beautiful." she paused to allow Fluttershy to introduce herself, which she didn't, you know why,  
>"I'm Twilight Sparkle." Twilight once again paused, before finally taking initiative, "What's your name?", even though I knew what she was saying (there are some advantages to this universe being a cartoon), I still struggled to hear it,<br>"I'm sorry, what was that?" Twilight asked,  
>"She said her name's Fluttershy," I left out the fact that twilight had already read the name out on her checklist,<br>"Thank you sergeant," I had long ago given up trying to get her to call me by name, "Well, um, it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything's in order. Keep up the good work!" she looked at Spike and sighed, "Well, that was easy"  
>we all turned when we heard a gasp,<br>"A baby dragon!" Fluttershy said excitedly, though very quietly; and this seems a good time to pull a Pinkie Pie and skip ahead.

I was standing outside the library in the half light provided by the street lamps, sipping a cup of punch, the bass from the music inside pounding on the doors like a caged animal; I needed a bit of air, the atmosphere inside was getting to me, too childish even for my tastes (I draw the line at talking bullshit),  
>"Hey Hawke, why aren't you joining in the party?" I hear a high pitched voice from beside me, "Are you not enjoying it? You don't look very happy, do you know what this calls for?"<br>"Pinkie, slow down, chillax" I said to the hyperactive mare beside me, "The party is alright, its just a bit, um, hectic for my liking," gotta phrase it carefully, last thing I need is to know if THAT fanfic is true here, "Back home, parties were more relaxed, the drink was stronger, and the music would cut right through you, no offence to the DJ or anything, she'd doing an amazing job"  
>"I'll remember that when It's your birthday," the pink one rambles,<br>"Wait, when is your birthday, because-" I tune her out until her lips stop moving, "unless you name the months different, December, just a few weeks before Christmas," do ponies have Christmas?  
>"What's that? Is it like Hearths Warming eave?"<br>"Probably, I didn't look into local customs too much"

The music began to dim and the ponies inside the library herded out to the hall we visited earlier, remembering that loud gunshots seemed to stun Twilight I rushed inside to grab a pair of silencers from my box and catch up with everyone.

"In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony that gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..." the mayor said to us, I heard Fluttershy whisper to her birds, " ...Princess Celestia!" you know how it happens, mass confusion as to why the princess isn't there then panic as a black ominous mist gathers into the form of Night Mare Moon, time to lock and load!

* * *

><p>and we finally get to the main story line, I'm not going to follow every episodes plot line to the line, some will have a bit of deviation,<br>and some may be skipped out entirely (situations I feel won't work well with the character)

in other news, haven't seen the season finale yet but I'm looking forward to seeing it hopefully this weekend and season three in the not too distant future


	7. Friendship Is Magic Pt2

"hello" regular speaking  
>(hello) Character inner thoughts<br>_"hello" Royalty speaking  
><em>Equestria locations  
><strong>"hello" <strong>Solaris/ Com-link  
><strong><em>"HELLO" <em>**Royal Canterlot Voice

this is a work of fanfiction please don't sue me

* * *

><p>Time to lock and load! I unholstered the SCAR and leveled the sights at NMM's head, Princess Luna or not if she attacks us, I attack back,<br>"Does my crown no longer count now that I've been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?" she demands of the frightened crowd,  
>"I did," Twilight reply's, "And I know who you are. You're the Mare in the Moon – Night Mare Moon!" she states to a round of gasps from the ponies around us,<br>"Night Mare Moon? Really?" I scoff, aiming to piss of the villainous one, "Do all Villains here have such awful names? It hardly sounds threatening, back home we have a stallion named Darth Vader, that dude made asthma fucking scary, you ain't got shit on him!" unsurprisingly this worked,  
>"I will give you reason to fear me, Hawke Eyes! Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever! " she laughes evily, with lightning striking outside, it worried me a little that she automatically knew my name<p>

"Seize her!" the mayor shouts to the guards ponies, "Only she knows where the princess is!"  
>"Stand back, you foals!" Night Mare laughs as she turns back into shadowy mist and disappears, an amorphous black blob appearing where she stood, we watch as the blob rises up taking the shape of a red eyed shadowy imp; while only standing four feet tall, with the amount of barbs covering it's skin, the imp did look somewhat intimidating (this never happened on the show, then again no one had the guts to mock NMM either).I watched Twilight leave the building followed by Spike and the other elements, others, mostly mares with foals, were leaving to protect their child, the rest stayed starring dumbly at the imp, which had been starring at me even before it's eyes formed,<br>"can everypony leave the room, I don't want you getting hurt" nobody moved, "NOW!" shouting caused a small stampede to the door leaving me alone with short, dark and ugly.

Within seconds of the door closing behind the last pony the shadow charged at me, claws primed to rip out my throat, I countered (wax on, wax off), trying to grab its arm, but to no avail as it retreated out of reach. We circled each other, daring to make the first move, as it charged once again I leaped above it using my wings to give me some momentum for a jump kick (well a flight kick in this case), my hoof connected to its jaw without a sound, it was a feeling akin to punching jello, sending the swine sprawling to the floor, the creature recovered before I could do anything though. Once again we face off with each other: the shadow, flexing it's claws menacingly, and myself with my knife, once again it charge me, time seemingly slown down, whereas before the creature leaned it's right shoulder into it's charge, this time it leaned left, I adjusted my stance accordingly; the shadow swung with a razor bladed left hood; I blocked, my hoof too far into the arc of it's swing to get cut, though I got a slight gash on the cheek since I miscalculated the length of it's talons. As the wretch tried to decapitate me with its right hand, I stabbed my knife into its wrist, the monster giving out a cry like it had been gargling gravel, I headbutted it, once, twice, stunning it, finishing it off with a bullet courtesy of my MP7.

The dying creature dissipated into nothingness, my knife clattering to the floor as it disappeared, I grabbed the blade from it's new resting place on the woodwork and re-sheathed it, running back to the library, hopefully before the element bearers left for the forest.

Approaching the six mares I slipped into a feigned ignorance,  
>"Twilight! Mind telling me what the hell's going on? And who was that I just flipped off back there?"<br>"Oh and how do we know she's not a spy either?" Rainbow spoke up, earning me the full attention of the group,  
>"I come from a land far across this forest, I would only spy on Equestria if Eqeustria was spying on us, besides," I laugh slightly, "I wouldn't stop laughing if I was working under someone with such a ridiculous name", Rainbow puts me under further scrutiny,<br>"Oh yeah? Then how did you get through Everfree Forest unharmed?"  
>"The forest is like a living being, it won't harm you unless you harm it" She seems satisfied with my answer (barely I might add) so I motion for Twilight to fill me in,<br>"We are looking for the six Elements of Harmony, only five of which are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. They are located in a castle in the forest," suddenly a light bulb went on in her mind, "When you passed through the forest did you see a castle?"  
>"Sorry Twilight, I didn't see any signs of life bar timberwolves and manticores" well what else is in there besides Zecora?<p>

"Well, Lets-a go!" did Pinkie just quote Mario?  
>"Not so fast. Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own." Twilight interjects, only to be shot down by AJ,<br>"No can do, sugar cube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple."  
>"Especially if there's candy apples in there" everyone looks at Pinkie, while I facehoof, "What? Those things are good"<br>"I'll take point" I offer, getting blanks in response, "I'll the lead the way" I sigh, can't any civvies understand military jargon? I unsling my rifle from my back and switch on the torch,  
>"there, now we can see where we're going"<p>

Being a bit further ahead I could only catch snippits of the girls' conversation,  
>"Rainbow, quit it"<br>" 'Cause every pony who's ever come in, has never come OUT" I huff indignantly causing Rainbow to laugh sheepishly, "Okay, one pony made it out, out of the THOUSANDS that went in"  
>come to think of it, wasn't this the clearing that- "EEEEEK!" NMM caused a land slide, I took off to help Rainbow and Fluttershy but as I did I was tackled out of the air, I looked down at the creature holding me, sure enough it was a shadow, not an imp like the previous, this was more reptilian, the lizard crawled off of me and hissed giving me a nice view of its barbed teeth, a bush to the left of me rustled, releasing four more reptile shadows (for convenience I will call them reptiles).<p>

The five of them circled me as I groped the floor for my rifle, from the corner of my eye I noted AJ struggling to pull Twilight up from the cliff, wanting to make it quick I switched the SCAR into burst mode and squeezed the trigger, turning to face the next reptile once the three shots had fired. Clip empty and the five monsters decomposing, I dropped the empty magazine and hammered in a fresh one, cocking the rifle in case it was still needed, before making my way back to the group.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?" Rainbow was unsurprisingly pissed, "ME AND FLUTTERSHY COULD HAVE USED THE HELP"  
>" I was dealing with a-" 'HISSSSSSS' we all looked up to see a reptile sitting on the branch above us, 'HISSSSSS-' 'pew'<br>"A pack of those", I continued pointing to the evaporating lizard "let's see we've had the cocky one, the many ones, if the cycle of minions keeps up next I'll be fighting-"  
>"The big one" Pinkie finishes ominously for me, wonderful.<p>

An encounter with a manticore and a song courtesy of Pinkie Pie (if only laughing worked with spiders) we approached a raging river,  
>"How are we gonna cross this?" Pinkie asks. We hear crying coming from up river,<br>"Wanna check it out?" I suggest turning to lead the way. Up river we find a giant Sea Monster crying his eyes out,  
>"What a world, what a world" his voice... is so... camp, why god dammit?<br>"Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying?" Twilight asks,  
>"Well, I don't know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just whisked past me and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off, and now I look simply horrid." much like how the ponies cringe whenever I swear, I cringe at every syllable this guy speaks, AJ and Rainbow are unsympathetic to the creatures plight, even I find myself a little uncaring,<br>"How can you be so insensitive? Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales" here goes Rairity, mark my words I will avoid her unless there is no other option, the serpent sniffs loudly,  
>"I know"<br>"And your expertly coiffed mane"  
>"Oh, I know, I know" His mood begins to pick up, I'm half tempted to start ferrying everyone across the river,<br>"Your fabulous manicure"  
>"It's so true!" he gasps,<br>"All ruined without your beautiful mustache"  
>"It's true, I'm hideous!" great he's crying again,<br>"I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected" Rairity's 'correction' was to cut off most of her tail, "Short tails are in this season" was her excuse, and attach it to the serpent's mustache stub. As soon as the waters calmed I dived in and began swimming across eager to put this memory in the amnesia pile; the serpent provided the others with a bridge using his own body.

According to my watch, it was half past three in the morning when we finally caught sight of the castle,  
>"There it is, the ruin that holds The Elements of Harmony. We made it." I had stopped noticing the chasm before us, having to grab Twilight by the tail as she ignorantly walked off the cliff,<br>"What's with you and falling off cliffs today?" we hear Rainbow Dash ask from above us, the others catch up, and Pinkie uses this moment to point out the obvious,  
>"The bridge is down, how are we gonna get across?", with an arrogant cough Rainbow flys to the other side of the valley,<br>"Allow me" she boasts, I turn to check the treeline for any hostiles with a quick warning to Rainbow that she has five minutes or I'm coming over there myself, given what's already out of canon in this world the last thing I need is for Rainbow Dash to join the Shadowbolts.

"See? I'd never leave my friends hanging" Rainbow gloats as she pulls the broken bridge from the chasm,  
>"Careful Rainbow, if your ego gets any bigger you won't need your wings to fly" I laugh,<br>"Why you-" Rainbow starts,  
>"Sergeant, quit aggravating Rainbow Dash, your an adult for Celestia's sake" Twilight scolds, while Rainbow grins victoriously, "And Rainbow you shouldn't let her get to you; Her homeland thrives on violence, you wouldn't stand a chance if you attack her" now it's my turn to laugh while rainbow splutters,<br>"Not cool Twilight! Not cool!"

We rush into the main room, Twilight and the others rushing to the funky statue in the center of the room while I hang back near a wall, using the torch on my rifle to check our corners for any shadows, or worse, Night Mare Moon.  
>I hear the others panicking at the statue, geeze whoever built that thing really, really like balls,<br>"Where's the sixth?"  
>"The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed."<br>"What in the hay is that supposed to mean?  
>"I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen"<br>(C'mon twilight, hurry up, there's a part of the room getting even colder) I kept my sights trained on the cold point,  
>"Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate" AJ says pulling Pinkie and Rainbow Dash back, Fluttershy and Rairity having already retreated to a safe distance. A nightmarish dark vortex formed in the cold patch which now enclosed Twilight and the Elements sucking them away, as the five remaining ponies came to their senses we heard a loud roar from behind us,<br>"Go find Twilight, I'll handle this," I said pointing to the hulking behemoth of a shadow pulling it's self through the door way, the nod not wanting to stick around, and rush further into the ruin in search of their friend.

The behemoth stood roughly six feet tall and was almost half as wide, it's left arm was packed so thick with muscle, its veins were taut against it's leathery, black hide; in place of a right arm was a large hooked blade extending from the elbow. The beast's head was made up predominantly by its massive jaw, this thing looked like it had enough strength behind it to bite through sheet metal, this is going to be fun... not.

With a speed unheard of for a being it's size, the behemoth charged me; Grabbing me by the neck and throwing me into a wall before I had a chance to react. As I crawled out of the hole I made I checked my wings to see if they were broke,  
>"FUCK!" yep broken, the left one was intact, suffering only muscle sprains, the right though? I might be grounded for quite some time with the state it's in. The beast doesn't give me a chance to ready myself before it starts lumbering toward me, okay, where's my rifle? Behind it, oh; side arm? On me, okay, just pull the trigger and pray. Unfortunately for me this thing shrugs off 9mm bullets like a boss, this thing is a fucking tank,<br>"Are you shitting me?" no time to reload, It's just a matter of avoidance now until I can make a run for the SCAR,  
>"Whoa, shit!" fucker tried to ram me again, sword arm in front poised to impale me (you know girls any second now you can use that rainbow harmony beam thing , just a suggestion is all, not as if I'm getting my arse kicked here), Fortunately that left a clear line to my salvation. I ran for the gun, the behemoth pulling it's arm from the damaged stone works, I heard a roar from behind me as I grabbed the SCAR, the bloody monster had taken to the sky, it launched it's overgrown ass over ten fucking feet into the air and was now dropping in to cause me a world of hurt, I did the only thing I could do in a situation like this, hold the weapon above me like a shield and scream like a little bitch.<p>

As the behemoth impacted against the rifle, I was forced to the floor, both my arms and the weapon groaning under the weight of demon flesh, I was fighting a losing battle, the brute was stronger, had the advantage of gravity, and my trusty assault rifle had started to bend under the strain, It was to my great relief when a giant rainbow blew through the room, turning the behemoth into a crystalline statue, before destroying it. With the adrenalin from the fight wearing off I noted three sharp pains in my shoulder before the exhaustion caught up with me and I fell into slumber; Mission Accomplished!

* * *

><p>I might not have a proper chapter in the works for a while, since I need to negotiate the use of a plot device before I can continue,<br>I'll have a filler chapter up in the meantime, a bestiary of the shadows, which I will update as more variants are added to the story.

In other news I need to get of my lazy procrastinating ass and get to work


	8. Filler: Parazoology, by Hawke Eyes

Parazoology: The Shadow

By Hawke Eyes

Shadows are beings comprised of living darkness, which take on a variety of forms in a sort of caste system, with lower order Shadows being more and more numerous than their higher ranked cousins. I know not where they came from, as there are no other recordings of them in Equestrian history, my reason for writing this encyclopedia, but I have reason to believe they were a construct created by the now-vanquished villain, Night Mare Moon, in response to me insulting her. As a result I can only offer my condolences to any who are negatively impacted by these nefarious creatures.

As a species they are not something to be taken lightly; Even with hoof to hoof combat training given to me before I left my homeland, I did struggle to face several forms on even footing, though my first encounter with the sub-species I call Brutes was even worse. It should also be noted that many types of shadow are almost invincible due to a variety of mutations which I was only able to counter with specialized tools from my homeland, I would not recommend anypony try to face even the weakest type of shadow on their own.

A fore word on the stats. Height and Weight are pretty easy to understand, so I will not explain those. Rank refers to the creatures standing in a hive, with one being the highest rank and five being the lowest, generally the stronger Shadows are ranked higher than the 'swarm' species. Grouping refers to how many you are likely to face at once, and how many the average hive holds. Offensive and Defensive strength refer to a particular type of Shadow's combat based abilitys, which when combined with the creature's Fear factor, average out to give it's overall strength.

Imp

The Imp was the first Shadow I ever faced. Standing around four to five feet tall, their 'fear factor' is created by their numerous skin barbs and talons, the shortest of which I recall seeing was no less than one inch in length. While a mid level Shadow, Imps are one of the more predictable types when it comes to attacking, they will charge their target (you can tell who this is as they will focus on nopony else) and attempt to eviscerate him/her with their talons. Their skin barbs provide some protection from attack, whilst injuring the pony that decided to punch it.

Stats;

Height: 4' to 5'  
>Weight: 100lbs<br>Rank: 4  
>Grouping: In the wild Imps can be encountered alone or in a pair; In a nest however, Imps can be found in groups of five or more, and on occasion leading lower order Shadows in battle. A hive can expect to hold twenty five to thirty Imps.<p>

Offensive Strength: 5/10 - Just touching it is enough to give you a minor injury, and it's claws are a force to be reckoned with, it's biggest let down down however is it's pathetically predictable attack pattern.

Defensive Strength: 8/10 - Barbs cover most of the body waiting to catch a chunk of flesh off the arm of an aggressor, couple with that they seem impervious to blunt force trauma, something I found out the hard way after kicking one in the jaw, however even the weakest of weapons can pierce it's skin.

Fear Factor: 4/10 - It's some what scrawny and coupled with being only pony sized makes for a relatively low score in this area, their redeeming features are the talons, skin barbs and their eerie habit of never breaking eye contact with their target.

Overall: 5.3/10

Serpent

The Serpent, originally named Reptile, was renamed as such due to it's striking resemblance to a demonic creature of lore from my homeland (*1). They are a lower order, more bestial Shadow compared to the many varietys of bipedal Shadows among the ranks. For the most part they stand on all fours, rearing up on their hind legs to lunge at their prey in order to take it off guard, though they are suited more to stealth than front on aggression, they are better scavengers than fighters.

Stats;

Height: 1.5' nose to tail  
>Weight: 68lbs<br>Rank: 5  
>Grouping: Packs of seven or more in the wild. A hive houses up to one hundred and fifty Serpents<p>

Offensive Strength: 2/10 - While they may have stealth and numbers on their side, the Serpent is not suited to front line combat. It's seventy six toothed jaw can deliver a particularly nasty bite, often from long range, Serpents have been shown to be capable of jumping approximately fifteen feet.

Defensive Strength: 4/10 - Due to their small size they are easy to be ridden of, provided one can catch them. They make up for their lack of defensive abilitys with extreme mobility and camaraderie, attacking anypony who presents a threat to one of their own from behind.

Fear Factor: 5/10 - They aren't the most lovable of creatures; They hiss to communicate with one another and to confuse prey, hide in the shadows, and don't fight fair.

Overall: 3.6/10

The Brute

This is down right my least favorite variant of Shadow, they are one of the largest, hardest to kill, and can do a lot of things you wouldn't expect. The first encounter I had with this variant was in the Castle Of The Royal Pony Sisters, and if not for the Elements of Harmony, would have been my last. As part of 'The Three Titans', they are impervious to all but the most dedicated of attacks. One should not even consider fighting one without a fully armed escort, even then I would still discourage you to do so, as a lucky break left me only in hospital for a number of weeks. Initially I called them Behemoths, but this was in fact a gross understatement, compared to the variant I now know as Behemoths

Stats;  
>Height: 6'<br>Weight: 250lbs  
>Rank: 2<br>Grouping: they are almost unstoppable alone, down right terriefying in pairs; A nest contains exactly twelve, with how powerful they are, they don't need many more.

Offensive Strength: 9/10 - It is the fact that this monster is not rated at ten that I am still alive to write this. The Brute is a being composed of pure muscle, it's jaws alone could bite through armor plates, it's strong point is it's blade arm, extending from the elbow down to its knee, The Brute is easily capable of crushing stone with this horrendous mutation.

Defensive Strength: 8/10 - Externally, your going to need something ridiculously powerful to even scratch it. Fire is the weapon of choice against them (though fire seems effective against all forms of Shadow) unless one can get a firework into it's mouth, a feat in it's self, which can make a hellish battle seem like a walk in the park.

Fear Factor: 10/10 - you try and fight one on your own, then you can disagree with me if you want.

Overall 9/10

* * *

><p>(*1) this is the Alien series for those who don't see the reference<p>

I sent A message to Kickass222yourmom, have't heard anything yet. Granted he's probably busy, but given I wan't to get right into the story before my exams start I don't have the time to wait, I'll probably end up just writing the story anyway and wait for someone to complain about copyrights or what ever and take it from there.

I'll also end up moving this to it's own separate story after it hits 5k words, and as for why it seems a little thread bare, I'm trying to keep some of this secret, which means you wont find out any other species or the hives until I reach them in the main story


	9. Griffins are idiots

"hello" regular speaking  
>(hello) Character inner thoughts<br>_"hello" Royalty speaking  
><em>Equestria locations  
><strong>"hello" <strong>Solaris/ Com-link  
><strong><em>"HELLO" <em>**Royal Canterlot Voice

this is a work of fanfiction please don't sue me

* * *

><p>In all honesty I doubt I've ever been in more pain than this in all my life, my head was pounding, my back was killing me, my arms and legs felt like they were being repeatedly stung by killer bees, and my wings; By god the pain in my right wing was something humans should be thankful they can never feel, I could quite honestly curse whatever dumb luck made me a pegasus right now.<p>

I opened my left eye ever so slightly, regretting it instantly. The sudden influx of light set my brain into the migraine setting, wonderful more pain; Where's the sodding aspirin when you need it?

With my other senses reawakening, there wasn't much point in trying to stay asleep, I groaned as I reopened my eyes into the blinding whiteness. Was I dead?

"See!" a high pitched voice spoke from beside me,

"I told you she'd wake up today"

"Pinkie, can you keep it down a little" I coughed, a glass of water appearing beside me suspended by a purple light,

"Thanks Twilight" I said after downing the refreshing beverage and setting the glass down,

"Anything interesting happen while I was out?"

"Well it started when Twilight..." Pinkie babbled losing herself in her explanation, I looked to the others for a less detailed debriefing,

"Like Pinkie said" Dash's scratchy voice barked out,

"Two weeks ago Twilight got some tickets for the Grand Galloping Gala"

"The what?" I choked, the names here just crack me up,

"The What!" They gasped, well except Pinkie since she's still in a world of her own,

"Foreigner, remember?" I said pointing to myself,

"Please continue"

"Right," Dash says as they start to look a bit embarrassed,

"We all went a bit crazy wanting the extra ticket, If it rained I'd keep a gap in the clouds, Rairity offered Twilight a free makeover, stuff like that"

"And After that" I said cutting in across Rairity, I knew what she was gonna say and damn hell if i'm letting her 'fix' my attire,

"Ah was bein' stubborn, and almost hurt mah self" AJ's Texan drawl replied

"Speaking of being hurt, darling" Rairitys upper crust British accent chimed in,

"What in Equestria happened to you for you to be so badly injured"

My face adopted a grim expression as I looked the white pony in the eyes,  
>"To put it simply, I got my ass kicked", It was about this time Pinkie was finished whatever she was doing with those sock puppets (how can she even use them?),<p>

"And that is how Equestria was founded!" said in a high pitched cheer

"Thank you Pinkie; ," I said pulling an IV from my fore leg,

"Now then, since I'm awake I see no reason for me to be here" I rolled off the bed, ignoring the cries of pain from my legs,

"I'm sure you all have more important things to do than watch a battered soldier take inventory?" rude as it may have been, it was the truth; their jobs weren't going to do themselves, and I could have sworn I heard Twilight muttering about contacting the princesses, so everypony wins.

The six of them soon filed out, Rairity being the last, leaving an offer to 'improve' my wardrobe if I happen to stop by the boutique. Truth be told, I was really tomboyish growing up, always considering myself 'one of the lads'; I'd even had a few lesbian jokes thrown my way, but that's how banter goes most of the time. I didn't have much love for the latest trends back home; "Function over fashion" was my motto with clothes.

I started scanning the sterile white room for my gear, the search being quicker than I thought it would be, finding my vest and weapons on the arm chair in the corner. The vest was remarkably intact, considering the beating it took, more surprisingly was the fact all the fragile electronics had survived as well (Cartoon physics for you), I pulled it on awkwardly and somewhat painfully and examined the next item. My MP7 too had pulled through fully operationally, the SCAR though? My trusty assault rifle had buckled under the weight of monster flesh and was now damaged beyond use, It pained me to say it but it's going to have to be replaced; Hell, I should have a complete overhaul of my arsenal in case any more of those monsters show up, lets see that brute stare down an RPG or an anti material rifle (that's what I call big game hunting).

I slung the beaten rifle over my back, and slotted the MP7 into it's holster on my right flank, noticing something on my shoulder as I did: three black gemstones,

"Huh? That's odd" I mused, making a mental note to have either Twilight or one of the Princesses see about it, something just didn't feel right about them.

* * *

><p>"... some grenades and some form of RPG, the last creature I faced was built like a tank, If there are any more of the danmed things I wan't to be fully prepared to face them" With my shopping list done, I only needed the General to finalize it, it probably wasn't a good idea to call home in a waiting room of ponies that have no form of telecommunications, hence the strange looks I had gained from staff and patients alike, but it's better than doing so in the street, same problem only worse,<p>

"Copy that, Sergeant," came the response, courtesy of Private Taylor,  
>"We can have the bow ready whenever you can head to the drop off, some of those weapons will take a bit of time to get a hold of, especially with you not specifying a particular model. Ammunition will come with the main shipment.<p>

"I'll head to the drop off at the earliest convenience," I replied, removing the ear bud of the Com-Link thereby silencing any response from Earth; Next on the to do list was to see about these geomorphous tumors on my shoulder.

I found Twilight, and Pinkie Pie, in a park a short distance from the library, with Twilight reading a book (no surprises there) and Pinkie blathering away through some form of commentary complete with hoof motions, I was out of earshot so I couldn't tell what she was saying (something to do with a party probably), Pinkie noticed RD who was doing a fly over above us, and started following the speeding pegasus, managing to keep up by bouncing of all things. I watched the bizarre rendition of Benny Hill with morbid interest as it ended with Dash face planting a mountain, hoping to the nine hells this wasn't normal for a Thursday.

"Hey, Twilight?" I called to the literature engrossed mare,

"Can you take a look at whatever it is that's embedded in my shoulder?" The unicorn looked up from her book, 'A Begginers Guide To Inter-dimensional Theory; Part 1' and a purple glow encased the stones,

"Whatever they are," she says worriedly, "They hold a great deal of magical energy, they also appear to have taken root into your blood stream and are currently fusing with your nervous system, at this point trying to remove them would kill you" seems she already knew what I was going to do about them, but still; i'll die if I try? Fuck my life.

"I'll have to include this in my letter to Princess Celestia, please be aware she may want to examine them further" as I said: Fuck. My. Life.

* * *

><p>With Thursday ending with a reply calling me to Canterlot on Saturday, I was left with Friday to do whatever the hell I wanted... as long as I remained close enough to Ponyvill to respond to any threats the Elements may incur (not that there will be any, mind you). I spent my time indulging in a hobby of mine: Playing Guitar. Back on base I was discouraged from pursuing any hobbies as it was an unneeded distraction; With out some dusty old officer breathing down my back I could now do as I wanted. I had acquired a guitar (being a dignitary entitles me to a stipend to make accommodation outside of the castle easier), purchased from a music shop about a block away, and was now slowly strumming my way through some sheet music, which Pvt. Taylor had been kind enough to smuggle in for me (He'd also got me a pack of cards in case Equestria didn't have Poker, and some cigarettes too; He couldn't have got me the guitar though, it's way too noticeable).<p>

I had so far murdered (Yeah, murdered! While it may be a hobby, playing guitar is not something I'm good at) my way through 'Paint It Black' and 'Seven Nation Army' and was looking through the unorganized pile of sheets for 'Smoke On The Water'. Having found the sheet I was looking for I put the rest into a semi neat pile and turned back to my guitar, as Pinkie trudged by seeming a little dejected (If you haven't already guessed: I'm in the park from yesterday).

"Hey Pinkie! Why so blue?",

"Glida" the pink mare sighed unhappily, "She's being super mean to me, she keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she pops my balloons, and she told me to buzz off"

"If you point her out I'll go talk to her", Pinke pointed to a griffin scaring Granny Smith; That is just sick, the age Granny Smith is, doing that could give her a heart attack.

"Pinkie, look after my guitar" I said, popping my neck as I did, "She looks like a thug to me, and I don't want to be tempted to smash it over her head"

It was rather fortunate I decided to act when I did: As I entered the market I noticed in the corner of my eye, Fluttershy guiding a family of ducks across the street, If I had waited I would assume that Glida would, given what I'd already seen, do a 'harmless prank' that would deeply hurt the shy pegasus.

"Yo, Griffin!" I hollered catching her attention,

"What do you want Dweeb?" was I really called a dweeb? I chuckled to myself,

"Dweeb, huh? Back home no one past the age of six uses that one" I laughed a bit more; couldn't help it, It's so funny to watch someone try to frown with a beak, she looked so constipated, "I'm not here to talk about insults though, you see, you happened to upset a friend of mine," all laughter was gone from me now, "and when my friends get upset, I get pissed; And when I get pissed, first time around, I offer a warning, like I'm doing now" She huffed, obviously not impressed, "Second time, I gut the fucker like a fish; Now you might think that you have diplomatic immunity being as relations with Griffonia aren't too good, but unfortunately for you I'm not from Equestria" I'm quite thankful I subscribed to the Canterlot times, keeps me up to date with local politics (If I was from Equestria, me killing her would make me responsible for the fan mad griffin-pony war; now they have to find a fictional continent a years travel south, good luck with that I say)

"Understand? the slightly paler griffin nodded,

"Good, see you at the party later" I said with a smile

* * *

><p>"Welcome, welcome" Pinkie almost shouted to the guests, with the others gabbing about who Glida is in the background,<p>

"Speak of the devil and him shall appear" I muttered to myself as Glida waltzed in like she owned the place.

"Gilda! I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties, and I really, truly, sincerely, hope you feel welcome here amongst all us pony folk." Pinke babbled offering a hoofshake, a small buzz was heard as Glida gripped Pinkie's hoof, with the Griffin grunting in slight pain as it happened,

"Oh Pinkie Pie, the old hoof-shake buzzer. You are a scream." laughed Rainbow, I just grinned; Even if it is kinda childish, watching someone get electrocuted is funny,

"Yeah" Glida mumbled with a nervous laugh, "uh, good one, Pinkie Pie"

"Come on G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends." Glida looked like she was about to threaten Pinkie, though as she looked past the pink party pony and saw my sadistic smirk she looked to have reconsidered.

The party went exactly like it did in the cartoon, with the addition of a couple of rounds of spin the bottle. Spin the knife would have been more accurate, we didn't have a bottle and since I always carry a knife, you do the math. I was dared to paint myself green, despite my protests that I already was, but to the absolute horror of Rairity I ended up coated lime green, with a pair of orange spiral on my ass courtesy of Ditzy/Derpy... which ever one it is after some moron pointed out my lack of a 'Cutie Mark'. To hell with being cute I say!

I excused myself for a smoke after the cake was served, Perching myself under an awning on a house across the street from Sugar Cube Corner, it gave me a good view of the party in through the window. I watched as Glida failed on the party game and blew it, I won't pretend I heard what she said to Pinkie Pie (If I do remember correctly she would be insulting her) but after Dash looked quite dejected the Griffin ran out, paling as I waved to her... oh yeah i still had my knife in my hoof.

With the party over the guests slowly trickled out, having the guest of honor walk out does kill the mood a little, with a couple staying behind to help with the cleaning up. I managed to catch Pinkie on her own for a bit,

"If she ever shows up again do you wan't me to follow through with my threat?" I'd have guessed the answer to be no but I can't help but hope otherwise,

"Just scare her, I don't want anyponies death on my conscience, even a big meanie meanie pants like Glida"

Like everypony else I cleaned my share of the mess before heading back to the guest room in the library; I got a chariot I need to be awake for in the morning.

* * *

><p>the time I was writing this I really should have been revising,<br>so with the exams just days away this will likely be my last post for a couple of months

my only hope is that after 6th form I get into uni, otherwise I'm enlisting with the army, which won't help me to finish this story  
>i will put a message on my profile If I have joined up, this way it's an early warning that I might not get round to finishing this<p> 


	10. AN

okay given the lack of response to the poll I've put up, I'm going to give all my readers till the end of the week to vote before I just do my own thing, then if anyone points out I'm Mary Sueing, I'll point out that nobody voted otherwise

so readers you have until 11.59PM Sunday to potentially change the entire plot of For All It's Worth


	11. Important AN

If you care please copy, sign and post this.

Petition:

I, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that (I believe) violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in it's original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

(Personal: I do think that if not an MA rating, then at least send a warning to the one violating the agreement –either knowingly or unknowingly- before taking the deletion option. A "You have been warned" notice tends to let people know so that appropriate actions can be taken. To delete a story without warning only leaves bitterness, and that tends to drive away creativity. I can't personally say that I understand that feeling seeing as how I never have that happen to me, but really, it's a good idea. I would also personally request a yaoi filter too if possible…)

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SinX. Retribution

reven228

JAKdaRIPPER

Third Fang

IRAssault

Grumpywinter

absolutezero001

Single Silver Eye

animekingmike

Daniel Lynx

zerohour20xx

arturus

Silvdra-Zero

YoukoTaichou

Leonineus

Aragon Potter

Kur0Kishi

Aznpuffyhair

IsealShisarakage

Uzunaru999

Dark-Knight

fearme80

Devilsummoner666

slicerness

Toa Naruto

Soleneus

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dansama92

KamenRiderNexus

Captive Crimson

KyuubiiLover27

MozillaEverer

4rm36uy

ebm6969

Repiece

phantomshadowdragon

Colonel Eagle

Timothy1988

ShadowZenith

awsm125

The Purple Critic

Darkepyon

Zombyra

brickster409

ChaosSonic1

Leaf Ranger

SoulEmbrace2010

Oni Shin

Silverknight17

Specter637

HunterBerserkerWolf

shadow-red0

The Roaming Shadow

bucketbot

AvalonNakamura

Avacii

Maxwell Gray

Silvdra-zero

Arashi walker

Lord of Daemons

Lord Anime

CloudRed1988

forestscout

The Lost Mana

Red Warrior of Light

TUAOA MORRISTOFOX

Mr. Alaska

Swagnilla-Ice-1985

MugetsuIchigo

bloodlust002

Nerverean

Kage Biju

JK10

OBSERVER01

MistressWinowyll

Count Kulalu

ronin504

ted009

Ralmidaz

lederra

Lost my shoe in Sheol

ToyHaunter

Hiyami

PuckReathof

demonsinger

konomu-Imout

LOVEMANGA AND DRARRY

yuseiko-chan

Elvira-baba

Icecce

iampieman

Ultimabloodblade

Gintoki

kumar9900

DemonAngel of Ice

dragon-cloud16

Harute Haptism

the green ace of clubs

Assassin King of Masyaf

Flame-Fist-Ace

Lucifer's Remnants

Story Reader 97

kniznik

NARUHAREM FOREVA

NHunter

Angry Hamster

Kouken Tenshi

Yume Saint-Clair

Oo-chan

jojo(non inscrit)

gaia (pas inscrit)

Estelle Uzumaki

Melana76

onarluca

Xanara

odvie

archiemouse

Fenrir the vicious

taj14

c i am a dragon

God Emperor Of GAR-halla

Warrior of Olympus

Xxfreefallangelxx

BituMAN

shadowcub

acepro Evolution

ScorpinokXV

Hunter200007

kyo anime

Nysk

Killeraction49

Storylover213

arya19

irvanthedamned

Kiranos

KingKidBadAss

nimb09

Paladeus

Orange-Fuzz-Ball

Kakkyou no Yami

Burning Truth

DrunkManSquakin

cabel1972

dynomike88

Tolotos

Hansi Rahl

Rekmond

Farmer Kyle

You-Lack-BadAssery

Silverscale

Cloud75JC

GunnerRyuu

Kurogane7

Raja-Ulat

DragonMasterFlex

Saphire Quill

shadowzefover5

Highvalour

Rinoti

2ndsly

guardianmaster4

Godlykiller2

munesanzune

DarkghostX

w1p

Lord Arkan

Xahn777

T3Ko

Dragon Man 180

Alia-Jevs

Fayneir

Ookami Ousama

Asdfth12

Burning Lights

EternalBlizzardOfSwords66

eltigre221

Jarjaxle

HinaGuy749

Great Vampire-Shinso

Harute Haptism

Oxyxoon

high lord mage

FatalCrimsonScion

Starfire99

Doombreed

AdamantiumTP

NightInk

Wrathkal

Firedamaged

God Emperor of GAR-halla

xArtehx

Kapola Nuva

HunterAzrael

anime-death-angel

sabery

Bahamutzero94

Soul Painted Black

Infinite Freedome

Rodneysao

Shatsuka

jm1681

Ookami88

Akira Strider

empresskitsune

KitsuneGirl021

KagomeGirl021

Joey Blaq

Nex Caedes

Billy Buyo

lite spirit

CelticReaper

fullhouses

Felur

TitaniumWyvern

NeonZangetsu

LargerSnowdevil

I'm Yu

Define Incompetent

Caw-Raven

BackwardsHazard

lord Martiya

Umashido

pokemoncosmoking

sjghostwriter18

scout360pyro

taintedloki

MtSarx

kumar9900

TehIrishBrony

Uzumaki Crossover

Etsukazu no Kitsune

Ranger-kit

rts515

Soulblazer87

Kamigawa Nagamaki

F Archer

us4gi-ch4n

Shirabaka Tenji

Spear-of-the-doomed

Painsake

Ben1987

Spartan Ninja

dante5986

Victoriousvillian

Sage of Eyes

Boomerbambam

YosoNoAkuma

Megaman88

Angry Hamster

Warden of the Runes

Kiyoi

Silverstonedragon

Akane Mosoa

Cryofthewolf

Culebra del Sol

HouseMD93

Doc. K-9

dracon867

Moka Mcdowell

VGZ

Oirarana

Nightmares Around Winter

chuck17

Son Of A Wolf

Daniel Lynx

Sibjisibdi

sleepwhenyourdead1989

BackwardsHazard

Hunter200007

Zagger the Bloody Angel

Zen Rinnegan

Duochanfan

alice the noble

Zagger the Bloody Angel

BRD man

nano101

ShotgunWilly

EternalKnight219

deadak

Idiote

AkumaKami64

loki0191

konoha's Nightmare

zrodethwing

ursineus

KamenRiderNexus

neko-hikage-chan

Project Slepnir

Narora Senoku

spider79

ZloGlaZ

Erebus of the Banat

belnonm

Tristan Blackheart

Xefix

dbzsotrum9

Nanna00

kired-reader

Kingswriter

hollyshortfowl

ChaosRaptorEye

The Infamous Man

Vampchick2010

THE Dark Dragen

26-Lord-Pain

Vail Ryuketsu

darkmatter13

forbiddenfruitunloved

lostandthedamned

EmperialGem21

Chiyo Asakura

SnakeHead85

Zediir

OccultAura

ZeroZangetsu

will1by2

Taullinis

dregus

rst64lc

Leaf Ranger

SaiyanShinobi

Uzumaki Crossover

Ressie-cup4545

Pokenarutodbzguy

Psyonicfox


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